My will to live
by xDarkWingx
Summary: When Ed goes to visit Winry on his own will he admit to something he’d been in denial about for years? Originally a one shot EdxWinry :3 No flaming please, just constructive criticism. This is my first go at fanfiction. Chapter three up! :3
1. My will to live

**Okay, this is my first try at a fanfic so no flaming, just constructive suggestions, please o-O;; This story came to me so randomly...I guess I'm suffering from lack of FMA -glares at Adult Swim for taking it off on Saturdays and smearing it on the weekdays-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (If I did then Ed would be MINE, forget Winry x3 shoves Winry away and cuddles Ed 3)**

Hundreds of uneasy thoughts tumbled through his mind as he trudged up to the familiar old house. How could he have messed up again? It had only been a month since his last auto-mail tune up and here he was, once again, knocking on the Rockbell door with a busted arm. He could have called her…but it was the least he could do to come on his own; a small peace-offering. Ed stiffened as he heard the soft step of feet coming down the stairs from within, the light flashing on in the hall.

Maybe it wouldn't have felt so strange if Al was there with him…but it just wasn't one of those days…Al'd know by now that Ed had left in the night, leaving only a short note letting Al know he was okay and just went to get his arm fixed, but the thought made him uncomfortable. He'd never, as far as he could remember, left Al behind for anything. So why now did he have the sudden urge to go off on his own?

The door creaking open on its rusty hinges snapped Edward back into reality; funny an auto-mailist like Aunt Pinako wouldn't keep the metal parts of her house in better condition.

"Ed?" a voice asked softly, yet suspiciously. Ed could see her taking a swift look over his head for Al, a puzzled look forming on her face when she didn't find him.

"Hey Winry." Ed choked out, pasting a grin on his face. "Long time no see, eh?"

"Did you break your arm _again_!" Winry suddenly demanded, snatching Ed's auto-mail wrist and lifting it to look it over.

_/Damn, she noticed. So much for breaking it to her slowly.../_ "It's a long story…" Ed replied with a small sigh, the fatigue of the journey to the house catching up with him.

Winry gave him a sharp glare before moving aside to let him walk in first. "Where's Al?" She asked as she slowly shut the door behind him, her eyes lingering on the street searching for her other friend.

"I uh, came without him." Ed answered blandly, making himself comfortable on the cushy couch in the Rockbell living room. He stole a glance at Winry to see her reaction and he got exactly what he'd expected: her face took on a gaze of worry, looking at Ed with utter concern.

"Is everything alright? Al's not hurt is he?"

"What?-No! That lug couldn't get himself hurt even if he wanted to. And I could fix him anyway." Ed said with a small hint of jealously. Al didn't have to face Winry because of that fact, and she'd be fuming again once she was sure everything was okay.

"Don't talk like that Ed." Winry said firmly.

"Well it's true."

"That's not the point-uhg, never mind. Let me see your arm." Winry sat down next to him and looked the auto-mail over, furrowing her brows a bit in frustration then sitting back into the couch with a more relaxed look. "Well it's not as bad as last time…shouldn't take too long to fix. Stay right there, I'll get my tools.

"You're going to fix it right now?" Ed asked in surprise as Winry got up. "It's already dark out. You can do it tomorrow…" he called after her as she left the room.

"Oh come on, you think I'm going to miss a chance to play with your auto-mail?" Winry said with a grin, returning with a box of tools and looking utterly pleased.

"Fine, whatever." Ed shifted so that he was sitting with his back to Winry when she sat down, making it easier for her to work on his arm. Ed had been expecting her to demand an explanation for why he was here alone and with a busted elbow (as it had turned out that's why he couldn't move it, but it had been difficult for Ed to tell, after all, he couldn't actually _feel_ it break, it was just there.) but she determinedly set off to work without a word, her hands occasionally brushing his hairaside when it fell inin her way again.

As minutes ticked by and still nothing was said, Ed opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. What was he supposed to say? And besides…this quiet was kind of…well relaxing at the very least, but there was something else there as well…Pushing that idea out of his head, he looked around the room with mild curiosity. Nothing had changed in the house since his last visitas far as he'd seen; still the same old furniture and other little appliances.

As Ed's golden eyes slowly made their way across the room they came to rest on a mirror on the wall in front of him. There he saw his own face gazing back at him with quiet wonder. Strange…after all this time he'd never really sat there and registered what he looked like…his hair was a bit messy but other then that he wasn't…too bad. Hell he could pass as a hot guy if he tried.

He scrutinized himself in the mirror for a bit longer, pleased with the idea that somehow in his deep imagination he'd grown taller since his last visit although he knew quite well that if he had Winry would have suggested a new arm and leg. Winry…that's when he saw her in the mirror as well; working contently on his arm, all her attention locked on getting it fixed.

Ed frowned slightly as he watched her reflection, guilt forming a knot in his throat. How could she do that? How could she just sit there and work like it was the most important thing in the world? After everything he'd done to her…after all those times he'd idiotically claimed he had to place to go home to…it had taken him time but he'd eventually realized how moronic that was. He _did_ have a home…here with Aunt Pinako…here with Winry…

The guilty feeling in his throat was starting to get to him; he could feel tears forming in his eyes. Damn it now wasn't the time to start crying. Why the hell was he crying anyway? Ed shivered as he suppressed the pain, locking it up inside him like he always did. Winry didn't need to be bothered by anything else, not by him anyway.

"Ed, you okay?" Her voice slipped into his consciousness like a dream; so soft…so gentle…so full of concern…for him…"Ed?" She repeated when he didn't answer. Her hand touched his 'real' shoulder, her skin so soft and warm…reassuring...

"Sorry, I'm fine." Ed replied softly, avoiding her eyes by all means possible. But when he looked away he saw the mirror…saw the reflection Winry gazing at him with gentle concern, a look of hurt lingering in there too…he had turned her down again; exactly what he'd just been beating himself up over. Slowly he felt her warmth consuming him in a gentle embrace. Ed could have sworn his heart skipped a beat before speeding up at a quicker pace, his face flushing along with it.

"You know…I'm not going to get mad at you…I just want to help…" Winry said slowly, almost as if she'd been thinking this over just as deeply as Ed had. He felt her head leaning against the back of his, her body shaking slightly as tears formed in her eyes. "I feel so helpless you know…you and Al go off on these dangerous missions and all I get is a letter every now and then letting me know you're still alive…I just want to help…I just…I just want to be able to-to do something f-for you." She whispered, tears streaming down her face at this point.

"Winry…" Somehow he'd managed to find his voice, somehow he'd managed to lift his human hand and rest it comfortingly on hers, somehow he'd let his will-power fail him and his body shook as tears threatened to stream forth with hers. "No…Winry, you've got it all wrong…" He whispered, leaning his head on her hand slightly, anything to keep her as close as possible. "I'm the one…who hasn't done enough…I've left you here all alone…I'm so sorry for ever making you feel this way…so please, please don't cry…" He pleaded, turning himself around and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Ed…" Winry choked out but didn't say anything else; she just buried her face in his shirt, clinging to it feebly as her tears soaked into it.

He was suddenly so thankful Winry had already finished fixing his arm. Any more of that and would have stopped her on his own...now wasn't the time for it...because..."Winry I l…" Ed trailed off. What had he been on the verge of saying? Did he really feel that way? Was it just the moment playing tricks on him? He shuddered and hugged her tighter, not daring to let go; _let the moment last forever_…but slowlythe spontaneous shivers that racked her body as she cried began to die and though her grip didn't loosen on his shirt he could feel her full weight against him.

"Winry…?" Reluctantly he let go of her and held her out a bit, a soft smile forming on his face. After all that…she'd cried herself to sleep… "…I love you…" He whispered, so soft she might not have even heard it had she been awake, but just that simple statement made him feel like he was in heaven; a feeling of blissful contentment swelling in his heart. "It's because you're there for me that I have the will to keep living…" He continued as he gently laid her down on the couch. He pulled the throw blanket off the top and rested it on her, her head in his lap. For a while he sat there stroking her soft blonde hair, just watching her as she rested serenely. But after a while he began to doze off, falling into a peaceful sleep as well…

Occasionally he'd wake up and look to see her one more time before drifting off again; smiling gently when he found that she hadn't left him, even after waking up when he had fallen asleep…


	2. Getting to know you

**Well, it _started_ as a one-shot but I wanted some way to thank all my reviewers for their support, you guys are the best! -tackle-hugs reviewers- It made me so happy to sign on and find all those positive comments, I really didn't think my story would get much of a response! So, this little extra story that takes place the day after chapter one is for all of you guys! Kudos to you! x3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or any any of its characters/ideas/etc. (If I did...wow O-o I think I'd marry myself...I'd be so cool! xD)**

* * *

_What a dream… _

Ed yawned loudly as he sat up from his sprawled-out position on the couch, his back cracking in a few places as he stretched. Rubbing the sleep from an eye that refused to un-blur, he sat up on the couch the 'right' way and stared out the window, slowly taking in the day's welcoming serenity. From what he could see there wasn't a cloud in the sky, only a small breeze every now and then. Birds chirped merrily in the thick green trees, and he could hear the chatter of the neighbors catching up on the news of the day.

"Ah, you're finally up." Ed turned around quickly, startled out of his daze by Aunt Pinako's voice.

"Geeze, don't pop out of no where like that, you almost gave me a heart attack!" Ed scowled back at the old woman who simply smirked.

"You should know better then to sit there staring out the window like an idiot anyway." Aunt Pinako said idly, puffing some smoke from her pipe out of her mouth.

"A little early for that, don't you think?" Ed said tiredly, referring to the pipe.

"Not at all. Or did you not realize you'd slept in 'till two in the after noon?"

"What?" Ed blinked in surprise, standing up quickly and looking up at the nearest clock. What sucked was that she was right. But was it really that important? As Ed's thoughts took over again and his eyes scanned the room for an explanation of why he over-slept (though he knew it was his own fault) his eyes came to rest on the mirror...the mirror from last night that he decided had caused him to oversleep. For a moment he felt spiteful toward it but then remembered his moments with…wait…"Hey Aunt Pinako, where's Winry?" Ed asked as Pinako settled down in a chair next to the couch.

"Winry? Oh, she left to get some new auto-mail parts this morning. I was going to get you to do it when I realized you were home but Winry insisted I didn't wake you up." She replied with a shrug, sucking on her pipe with an almost suspicious look at Ed. She must have found them together last night.

_Home…_ What Aunt Pinako had said suddenly punched him in the gut. Yes…last night…he'd finally admitted to himself that this was home…Somehow the thought put him back at ease.

"Will you stop mezzing out into the distance, kid?" Pinako snapped, whacking Ed on the head with the thick book she had just picked up to read. "Go outside and make yourself useful. There's some fire-wood that need chopping."

"But it's in the middle of the summer! What do you need fire-wood for?" Ed growled back, covering the tender part of his head where Aunt Pinako had hit him.

"Don't question your elders." She said simply and, without anything else to say, Ed got up and trudged outside, mumbling something about slave labor.

* * *

Winry walked with a bit of a skip in her step as she made her way back home, humming a little to herself and looking abnormally happy. Every now and then she'd spin around just to release some of the excess joy, her bag of auto-mail parts clanging as she stopped short and soaked in the sun's rays, grinning up at the sky. Today's weather matched her mood perfectly. 

After taking a deep breath to suppress another wave of excitement, Winry headed down the road once more, all but bursting with enthusiasm. Ed was back home! As the image of her friend popped into her mind she flushed in spite of it all. It was one thing falling asleep when she hadn't meant to but waking up on his lap like that…she felt herself flush tomato red – she'd be surprised if it was any lighter then that.

"Oh Ed…" She mumbled, her voice catching in her throat as the excitement threatened to take over again, her eyes gazing dreamily into the cloudless sky. She couldn't quite understand why she was so happy. After all, there had been other times when Ed was close to her…but this time just seemed…different…it seemed….special. "Special…" Winry repeated the word with gentle approval, grinning and swinging the bag back and forth, possibly blushing even harder then before.

As she turned off the road to the path leading up to her house she stopped short, swearing her heart skipped a beat as she laid eyes on him. She hesitated to keep going, oddly aware of how masculine Ed looked…cutting wood…now why in the world was he doing that? Puzzled, Winry took a step forward and opened her mouth to say hi but her voice caught in her throat, only allowing a small squeak to make up her greetings, completely inaudible to Edward who remained unaware of her presence.

Was he ignoring her? Surely he would have seen her by now. Or at least he _should_ have. What kind of a State Alchemist was he if he didn't know what was going on around him? Her worry quickly morphed into anger then to confusion, a jumble of thoughts and feelings forming butterflies in her stomach. What if he _was_ mad at her for some reason? Maybe she did something wrong…Was she just incompetent? No…it wasn't that…she was just making up excuses.

For some reason…some bizarre and awkward reason…she just couldn't face him. Not yet. She took a breath before tip-toeing up to the house, trying her best to stay out of his line of vision…But she failed miserably. When she looked back over at him she squeaked and dropped her bag, her eyes caught with Ed's beautiful golden orbs. She tried to say hi, anything to break the silence. Ed seemed to be suffering from the same dilemma, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water and his face blushing slightly.

Ed, however, was the first to recover despite the strange look he had on his face a moment ago. "Morning, Winry." He said with a grin, wiping some sweat off his forehead.

Somehow this little gesture renewed her vigor and she picked her bag back up then headed over to him, grinning profusely despite her attempt to put on a regular face. "It's already way past morning, you dope."

"Ah, well, if you looked at it from my point of view…" Ed said with a more awkward grin which Winry just laughed outright at. He must have only woken up within the past few hours. She'd been gone longer then she thought.

"What are you cutting fire wood for?" Winry suddenly asked, her curiosity getting the better of her as she stopped walking and stood in front of him, placing the heavy auto-mail parts down.

"I'd like to know that myself." Ed replied with his usual air of cockiness back. "Aunt Pinako sent me out to cut it but refused to tell me what it was for. I think she just likes to watch me squirm."

"It can't be _that_ hard can it? Not for a _big_ strong man like you." Winry said with a sly grin, poking fun at the oxymoron of that comment. She could see Ed twitch under that remark.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Winry said airily as she picked up her bag and turned around. "Well come on, tough guy, let's go get dinner started. If I know you you're starving." She said as she headed up to the house.

Ed frowned but followed anyway, even moving past Winry to open the door for her; complete with a mock bow and challenging grin.

* * *

Ed sighed softly as he lay on the Rockbell lawn, gazing off into the night sky, only the gibbous moon and the stars blinking far in the distance providing some kind of light. So little had happened in the past day and yet…so much had also happened at the same time. He couldn't remember the last time he and Winry had just spent the day together…catching up on old times, making each other laugh…just getting to know each other. _/She's really something special…/_ Ed though with a small smile which quickly turned to confused frown. 

Why all the sudden? Ever since last night…he just couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't even bring himself to leave just yet_. /Well…it's already too late to travel…/_ he'd insisted inconspicuously. Besides, Al could take care of himself for one more day; he wasn't a baby. And it's not like there was anything worth while waiting for him back at Central; just Mustang and his jokes about Ed's height. He snorted in contempt at that thought. That thought alone could keep him here in Resembool. And then…Winry alone could as well…

"What's _wrong_ with me…?" Ed mumbled to himself, rolling over onto his side and curling up slightly. No matter what he did she always consumed his thoughts…Her angelic blonde hair…her gorgeous azure eyes that held the world in their gaze…her smile that lit up the universe with one flash of her perfect white teeth…her lips as they turned normal words into works of art…if only he could…Ed's eyes widened in shock at what he was on the verge of thinking, his visage bright red as he sat up quickly, burying his face in his hands.

He must be sick…he must be deranged…Winry was a wonderful girl…but…but…they were just friends weren't they? He might have feelings for her but how was he to know she felt the same way…? After all, she had already been asleep when he confessed his feelings for her. Hell, maybe it was just last night's moment that had gotten the better of him after all. He hadn't seen the same emotion in her eyes…he _couldn't_ have…

"Ed, you're hopeless." He scolded himself, running a hand through his hair with a rough sigh.

"Why's that?" her voice slipped into his thoughts the same way it had the other night, soft as a dream…and a million times more wonderful…Before Ed could properly register this, Winry was sitting on the ground next to him, taking one of his hands and placing a cookie in it. "Aunt Pinako and I made cookies while you were out." She explained when Ed gave her a quizzical look, Winry munching on a fresh backed cookie of her own.

"Oh…" Ed replied distractedly, turning his eyes away from Winry. One look at her and he was on cloud nine.

"You okay, Ed?" She asked softly, leaning forward slightly so she was nearly in his line of vision. She had that hurt look again, like he'd let her down once more.

"…I…I don't know…" Ed finally admitted after a moment of silence…his eyes locked on his feet. "…Winry I…" He started but couldn't find the right words. How could he explain what was so unexplainable?

Winry stopped eating her cookie, watching Ed with quiet concern. He could see her out of the corner of his eyes and he couldn't stand it. He had to know.

"…Winry…what…what do you think of…" He sighed heavily, running his cookie-free hand through his hair again. "What do you think of me?" He finally blurted out; the words tumbling out of his mouth so fast it took her a moment to figure out what he had been trying to say. At first he'd hoped she _hadn't_ understood; he regretted asking the second he opened his mouth. The truth was going to hurt, he just knew it; he could see it in her eyes when she blinked in shock at him, looking down at her own shoes and going silent.

We wanted to run, get as far away as possible from what was about to come. It was going to hurt…everything did…his life was cursed and this was no exception. But before he could find the power in his legs to get up he felt Winry leaning against him. Blinking in surprise he looked over at her, her head resting on her shoulder and her arm linking into his. She wasn't looking at him but there was something so calm, so gentle about her look that it willed him to stay put nearly as much as her contact.

"You bonehead…" She mumbled, shaking her head before looking back to him, her eyes soft yet sparkling as a far-off star reflected in them. "What do_ you_ think of _me_?"

Ed's eyes widened a bit as she asked this, his heart speeding up at an inhuman rate. Slowly his face fell into a gentle grin and he rested his forehead on Winry's. "God Winry, don't ever ask me such a stupid question again." He mumbled, his heart swelling with happiness. "Everything." He said in an even softer voice. "You're everything to me."


	3. Only you

**Yes, here I am, once again, continuing what was once a one-shot. I'm a sucker for good reviews (so don't forget to give me one if you like my stories! That's what gets me writing!) and I couldn't ignore the fact that something was missing from the first two -hint, hint- so I racked my brain until I found something. This chapter was more forced then the last two so I can't promise the same beginner's luck, but I'm still proud of it. :3 So, enjoy! -grins brightly- **

**Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist or any of it's characters/ideas/etc. (drats...) **

_His heart was more alive then he ever remembered as he woke up that morning, the sunrise casting a warm veil of satisfaction over his body. For a time he laid there motionlessly, soaking up everything that had occurred the day and night before. But no matter how many times he rewound and replayed the scenes in his mind he couldn't quite get over it. Mixed feelings of relief and confusion churned in his being, offering him moments of unsettlement and then periods of content awe._

As Ed finally brought himself to sit up, the dawn colors having just dissipated from the sky, he was surprised to find Winry next to him. Sure, he'd had his eyes closed while he was lying there, so it wasn't obvious at first, but how could he have missed her unmistakable presence? Well, he'd thought for sure that she's gone back to the house last night…Suppressing a yawn, he scooted over to the side a bit, trying his best not to disturb her sleeping form.

After another quick glance at her, he stood up, stretching his back roughly, not at all surprised to hear it crack in a few places. You'd think after all those years of campouts and such he'd get used to sleeping on the ground, but, go figure. With a small grunt he sat back down, eyes scanning the morning scene critically. It was sunny now but there were dark clouds heading toward them only a little ways out. "Horrible weather to travel in." He mused with a sly smirk. No doubt they were rain clouds, and at the rate they were advancing he'd say they'd be over them within the hour.

Frowning slightly at the clouds, he turned back to Winry, his face softening. "Winry..." He said gently, nudging her arm a bit. Might as well get her up now; if she kept sleeping like this she'd probably stay out of it until the rain hit them. After another slightly rougher nudge, she stirred, blinking the sleep from her eyes. For a moment she looked out into the sky with a blank expression on her face but when she caught sight of Ed she sat up quickly, blushing lightly.

"Morning…" She mumbled sleepily, running her hand through her hair in an attempt to calm it from its mild bed head state. Somehow there was just something so modest about it that it made Ed smile. "What?" She asked blankly, suspiciously aware of Ed's smirk.

"Nothing." Ed replied with a small shake of his head as he stood up, offering her a hand as well.

* * *

/Brother's going to get mad at me for this.../ Al thought to himself glumly as he got off the train, a mild rain shower clinking against his armor. He knew better then to bother Ed when he wanted to be alone, and he knew Ed was okay; he was with Aunt Pinako and Winry, but Al wasn't sure he could take much more back at Central without his elder brother. 

It had just been one thing after the next for poor Alphonse with Edward gone. Mustang had made it appoint to give Al plenty things to do in the mean time 'out of the kindness of his heart so Al wouldn't be bored' and didn't seem in too much of a hurry to get his pint-sized underdog back under his thumb. But that was just it; Al knew Ed wasn't fond of always being under Mustang's orders but he never thought the man could be so cold. Not that he was mean to Al, he just took it upon himself to ignore any possible complaints, which had left Al doing many of the Flame Alchemist's chores.

"I'll never look at laundry the same way again..." Al pouted dejectedly as he walked down the road, quite glad to be out of the Train Station; people had been eyeing him nervously as usual. It's not his fault he was stuck in a tin can! With a small sigh, Al stopped and looked up into the sky, suddenly saddened by the rain that continued to grow steadily harder and faster. "Oh rain...if only I could feel you..." Al said pathetically, holding out a hand only to receive an empty sensation as the rain splashed against it.

* * *

"I can't believe we're stuck out here..." Winry pouted angrily, glaring down at Ed from her perch in the lowest branch of the tree, hugging her legs against her stomach. 

"Damn it, it's not _my_ fault the house is locked!" Ed growled back from his position at the base of the tree, stubbornly avoiding Winry's eyes. Rain was pouring steadily down from the sky, some drops leaking through the tree every now and then onto one of them, each looking supremely sour at their predicament.

"Well why don't you use your alchemy to open it!"

"Well why don't you use your auto-mail specialties to pick the lock!"

They both went silent, each refusing to look at the other as they stared out into the rainy abyss that had once been a nice day. Ed frowned even more as his mind went to work again; this time on different ways that Winry could accidentally fall from the tree. Of course she never got hurt in his scenarios but they were sufficient enough to break her pride, letting her admit that Ed had always been right and he was indeed very tall. _As if_.

Aunt Pinako had said yesterday that she would be leaving early today to run some errands but Ed hadn't expected her to lock the door. Had she really not noticed that he and Winry were missing all night?

After a great deal of internal struggle, Ed brought himself to look up at Winry (luckily she'd turned away by now), and found she was soaked and looking exceptionally miserable. He turned away again, visions from the first night he'd come to the Rockbell house flashing through his mind; particularly the reflection Winry and her silent pain.

"I don't know what it is about you..." Ed muttered to her as he stood and turned to face the tree. Winry gave him a swift glare, ready to protest what he'd said as soon as she discovered it's meaning, but was cut short by Ed's silencing hand. After clapping his hands together once, he placed his hands on the tree trunk which glowed with the energy of a transmutation.

Ed grinned triumphantly at Winry's surprised face as the tree took on the shape of a giant umbrella, sheltering the duo from the steady rainfall. But his expression was immediately replaced with fear as Winry lost her balance in the newly transmuted tree, falling forward from the branch.

_/Damn it/ _It all happened so quickly it took him by surprise; Winry was falling; he reached out for her; she collided into him, pushing him back a few steps, but he'd caught her in a hug-like catch none-the-less; her lips brushed against his in the impact, her eyes just as wide as his own; he stumbled back a few more steps, falling onto his bottom outside of the umbrella-tree's protection, Winry clasped protectively in his arms throughout the entire incident and for a recovering moment afterwards.

* * *

_/Almost there./_ Al thought with forced encouragement, fearing that he might rust if he stayed out much longer. He'd have to ask Ed too tend to that later if that was the case...He might have walked on silently if he had been able to, but his armor clanked with each step, breaking the otherwise silent walk. 

It was kind of depressing when he thought about it. Had he been 'human' this rain might have been enjoyable, but here he was worrying about rusting...Al sighed heavily before looking up, and, had he been able to, he would have smiled at what he saw.

"There it is!" Al cried out in joy as he finally caught sight of the Rockbell house. He brought his walk up to a jog, relieved that he'd found it. After all that – he suppressed a shudder and a wave of fear - he'd actually forgotten where the old house was...visions from his experience at Lab 5 flashed through his mind, slowing him down to a sluggish walk once more.

This wasn't fair...he and Ed couldn't take anymore breaks like this...it was a selfish thought, he knew quite well it was, but it was the only thing he wanted in this world, in his pathetic existence, he just wanted himself and his brother to be 'human' again, to make this feeling-less sensation leave, to let him touch and feel again..._but that was the exact thing that he could never have in this world..._

Finally Al made it to the steps, surprised to find a lack of light within its confines. Surely they weren't asleep already? He rapped on the door with his fist, perhaps a little harder then he'd intentioned, but nothing happened. He knocked again; still no one came, not even a stirring within the house. Were they ignoring him? Al let a small whimper escape him when he tried to open the door only to find it locked. The rain continued to splatter down onto him, the rejection continued to consume him. _This just wasn't his day..._

* * *

Ed's heart sped up at a fantastic rate for the third time since he came to the Rockbell house, his eyes wide as saucers as he scanned Winry for any signs of injury. He tried to speak but he couldn't find his voice; it was lost with his ability to move. 

Winry was sitting there in his lap, blushing deeply and apparently suffering from the same symptoms. Her bright azure eyes were locked on his, scared, relieved, and confused all at once. For a flashing moment Ed re-felt the point of their fall when her lips had brushed his. He knew it was a mistake but...if it was...

His thoughts were drowned out by the rain, soaking them all over again, blanketing them in its gentle caress, its consuming sound drowning out all other noises but his heart as it pulsed harshly in his chest. Slowly, almost unconsciously, driven forward by the silent urges of the rain's comfort, Ed leaned his head forward. Slowly, nearly in unison, urged on by the same force, Winry leaned up to him, stopping only for a moment to rest her forehead on his. Then she looked back up, her face now lacking every emotion but one.

Gently, soft as a dream, her lips were on his, he responding to her advance with reserved eagerness. It was short but seemed to last an eternity, a lifetime of blissful emotion gracing them as they finally held each other..._in their first kiss_.

Without a word Winry gently pulled away and rested her head on his chest, Ed's eyes staring off where her face once was, silent shock masking his visage. And then, after a moment of silent reflection..."I love you, Ed..." Winry whispered, barely louder then Ed's confession on the first night. "Always you...only you..."

His heart must have jumped out of his throat at these words; he could hardly contain the bubble of excitement swelling up in his chest. "Forever more..." Ed said softly, hugging Winry tighter and closer then he ever had before, lost in a flood of emotion. He would have stayed that way forever, hell, at that point he believed he _could_ have if he tried, but that was when he looked up and saw Al sitting in the distance on the doorstep of the Rockbell house, rain pouring down on his metallic form.

* * *

"And you'll come home soon? Promise?" Winry asked excitedly as Ed stood with one foot in the door to the train, Al already inside. 

"Of course! I've already managed to come once a month for the past two, what makes you think I'll stop that now?" Ed replied with a bright smile, something he hadn't had on his face before reporting back to Central in his entire life.

"I'd say your life-threatening missions would." Winry scolded, her hands on her hips.

"Then I'll be sure to break my arm again, just for you." Ed replied with a mock soothing voice.

"Ed-" But she was cut short as Ed dropped his bag and silenced her with a hug and a small kiss on her forehead.

_"I'll always come home for you."_

Before she could recover from the moment, Ed was on the train, just in time before it left the station. She couldn't help but shake her head at him as she waved good-bye, not only glad to see him truly happy for the first time in a while, but glad to discover that, despite his usual lies to protect her, there was genuine truth and love in that final statement.

* * *

**The End**

**Yes, it's the end, no more, fin, whatever you want to call it, of 'My will to live' (not literally of course, I mean the title of the story...er...yeah -blinks-). I had fun writing this fanfic so I hope you enjoyed it just as much if not more then I did! Review and let me know what you think! I love reviews and reviewers get me writing. So my formula is reviews equalupdates. Yay :3 -throws confetti- The more reviews the sooner I'll start another fanfic, so if you like what you saw, do review for me :)**


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